I am going to the beach

Today I plan to go to the beach.
I like beaches, but not the sand and water so much,
Still looking for one with Astroturf and a giant sponge.
Last time I went, to photograph rocks n stuff, I accidently stepped in a rockpool and was eaten by a crab.
(no… that’s not true… my foot was threatened by a crab.)
At least at the beach you don’t get infected  by human parasites.
!!WARNING!! Science information.
A parasite is a special place where government land is set aside for people who like to jump off the cliffs with a parachute. For the braver souls (I have only ever met one, but there are hundreds),
The parachute is held between the teeth, and the rip chord is pulled as they hit the ground.
It’s hard to believe people would do that, but I saw one actually doing it.
For those unacquainted with para talk, the rip chord is so called because it‘s R I P if you forget to pull it in time.
I read somewhere.
“It is estimated that about 50% of the U.S. population is infected with at least one type of parasite.”
           They must be small because I have checked myself in the mirror, and can’t see any.Thank heavens I don’t live in America.
(If you meet me, remember no kissing.)

Just a free hint for the brave among you: don’t try to enonomise on the para by using a string shopping bag like I did the first time.
Air molecules are apparently smaller than the holes in string shopping bags and you may decend a little faster than you like.
You maybe don’t care about my beach adventure, but you will be thankful for the science content you have gleaned today

I am still your little friend with scientific and relationship advise on the net…
                                                FACTUAL KERRY
                                                        (thank me later)