Monday, April 4, 2011

WHERE NOW, CAPTAIN KIRK?

   In a recent scientific journal, the recent apocalyptic events affecting Planet Earth have been discussed.  It states, "In times past, humanity lived on Mars. After the Martian industrial revolution, volcanoes became active and swallowed the land areas, turning the seas upside down..."
This is why, said a spokesperson, that mars is now covered in sand.
The seas flipped, and the seabed, (sand), rose to the surface.
Planet Earth is now heading down that same path, He said.

     In 20 years and 4 months time, Earth will become the second Red Planet, and we will move on to colonize and destroy our next home.
    NASA will again become the giant moving company it was in times past and will continue our Galactic journey.

 Pack warm clothing and your monkey, and kiss the dog goodbye...

Black sawans

Everybodys favourite town, Ballarat.
Yes, the lake now has water
Yes, The sun shone on at least 3 days
Yes, a good place to take pics
No, It's not tar, They are black swans...








They came, they saw, they buggered off...

Friday, April 1, 2011

INDIA PICS

Came across a few India pics so thought I would walk down memory lane and post a few.
p.s. for tom...ALL TAKEN WITH MY TRUSTY RICOH CX3 30-300MM CAMERA...






















a million more I can put on if you want

Thursday, November 11, 2010

ARE YOU DISAPPEARING?

       In olden times, Oxen were attached to heavy loads with a trace. This stopped them from disappearing, said their drivers.
          Fast forward a few years to Amelia Earhart, who flew her “Spirit of St. Lois” into the Spirit in the sky.  Her last garbled radio message went, “my trace….the kitchen table next to…need it for…” CLICK- silence. Amelia had disappeared without a trace; a mystery that was never solved. Amelia was once quoted as saying, “Flying might not be all plain sailing, but the fun of it is worth the price“. A high price indeed Amelia!   
        In contrast, Charles Lindbergh never left home without a trace, and after not  disappearing on a return flight to South America in his  Spirit to Mexico, helped start the airline  that became T.W.A.    
          Fast forward again to 2006, and we hear about the "Vanishing of the Bees"  This phenomenon is known as "Colony Collapse Disorder".  Honeybees have been mysteriously disappearing across the planet, literally vanishing  from their hives. What is the cause?  National Geographic reports that this mystery has been vexing some of the world's best scientists ever since U.S. beekeepers began noticing enormous numbers of their bees vanishing for no apparent reason.  Ever since the colony collapse disorder (CCD) epidemic  was first reported, beekeepers across the country have seen adult bees disappear, leaving home, honey and pollen behind.     Can the Worlds' economy, and even Humanity itself, survive this disappearance?  
Should we be concerned?  
        If you like to eat food, YES IT SHOULD!  Bees—and the flowers they pollinate, are disappearing, according to a new study of bee diversity.  The results raise concerns about food crops and plant communities that rely on animal pollinators to reproduce.  "The decline in bee diversity also has broad implications for human health and quality of life",  says a  spokes-person for the University of California.     
        Could it be that the bees are simply getting careless, flying into oblivion like so many buzzing lemmings into the abyss of extinction, or are they simply forgetting the way home?  I don’t think so! They, like untethered Oxen and forgetful aviators are disappearing without a trace.
           According to the Associated Press,  Hawaii's idyllic beaches will soon be gone forever.  Tibetans are worried about their disappearing language.  Alpine glaciers are disappearing. Tigers and their prey are disappearing.  Even the Mummies in Savona in Sicily, are on the verge of disappearing. The only credible theory so far, is that the planet Earth, bee by bee, species by species, and habitat by habitat are being relocated to a more habitable planet. It is not known if it is our political leaders, or outside alien influences are causing the disappearing, but disappearing we are at a rate of knots.     Is forgetful Amelia waiting for us somewhere out there, or are the Bee-people waiting for their revenge?  Whichever it is, Monkey and I think we are about to find out

Friday, November 5, 2010

DINOSAURS: THE HARD FACTS.

    Before the 19th century, when giant bones turned up, they were taken as evidence of dragons, or giant victims of Noah's Flood.
Today, everyone thinks that dinosaurs lived on earth from 200 million years ago, until they abruptly died out around 135 million years later. Mentor  monkey and myself have spent years searching for any written records they might have left, such as newspapers or suicide noteus and ‘till now, we have not found even one.
This tells me that:-
a. they had computers and didn’t need written records, and
b. they didn’t leave suicide notes.
     Computers make sense, as everyone has a computer, even if their day they only had primative ones made from trees and vines.
We don’t find any of these now because humans started maybe 200,000 years ago. Quickly, the humans evolved and invented stone axes, with which they destroyed dinosaur computers.
The second point makes things more obvious. No suicide notes mean no suicides.
      These dinosaurs did not die out, but some fled from the aggressive humans, and lived in caves in remote areas of unpopulated land. Most were lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time. When the one land mass (Pangaea), spit in two during the Jurassic period, Humans were isolated on one land mass and bony and spiky Dinosaurs on the other. The humans landmass divided and re- divided to form the continents that we know and love today. The Dinosaurs landmass however has never divided, but is hidden somewhere beyond the horizon. Many airforce pilots have seen Dinosaurland with its bony and spiky residents, but have been sworn to silence by their governments. We know this, because they have never spoken about what they must have seen.
       Ask yourself, “in what sense are we humans improvements over Dinosaurs?” From our meagre fossil records we know they were bigger, bonier, spikier, stronger, and more adapted to their environment than mankind. In contrast, we are smaller, softer, smoother and less adapted to our environment.
We need cars- Dinosaurs have four legs.
We need clothes-Dinosaurs have thick skin or fur; .
We need houses- Dinosaurs can make do living in caves.
We  need supermarkets- Dinosaurs eat free food and small pebbles.
We need jobs- Dinosaurs have a well organised social welfare system that doesn’t even need paperwork, thereby saving their rain forests.
         Added together, these points lead us to the only conclusion possible.   If a species really was to become extinct it would be us. The few lesser Dinosaurs that missed the boat when Pangaea split in two, (small light-boned theropods scuttling for their lives underfoot), have evolved in a way that makes them almost invisible to our weak human binocular vision. These became microbes, mosquitoes and tiks. Some grew feathers and became birds. For example- Seagulls who live a natural dinosaur life eating free food, and even sparrows, the least of the Dinosaur kingdom live secretly in our gardens under our very noses. They are waiting patiently for humanity to die out so they can once again rule the Earth.
     I will continue to work patiently for you all, to bring enlightenment to the few that can accept the truth…
                        FACTUAL KERRY

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

ECOLOGY: ARE WE THE PROBLEM??

              Edward O. Wilson, Harvard University ecologist and writer states,
"The 'backbone' of biodiversity is being eroded. "One small step up the Red List is one giant leap forward towards extinction.
What can this mean to our meat eating culture? .
       Sadly, Our predatory ways are taking are taking a real toll on the vertebrates  who share the planet with us.
According to one important investigation:-
    Southeast Asia has experienced the most dramatic recent losses of vertebrates, largely driven by the planting of export crops like oil palm, commercial hardwood timber operations, agricultural conversion to rice paddies, and unsustainable hunting,
What exactly are Vertebrates?  
The dictionary says, " an animal with backbone: an animal with a segmented spinal column and a well-developed brain, e.g. a mammal, bird, reptile, amphibian, or fish ."       
Yes! In consuming so much food in a brave but futile attempt to grow and stengthen their bulky frames, animals are causing their own demise.
    As a reult of this disturbing reseach, Mentor Monkey and My good self, at no expense to you, have enbarked on a program to help these dim witted animals by breeding cow and sheep fillets. These animals will not only eat less, but take up less pasture land. Brain is edible, so no attempt will be made at present to breed this out of these species. This would be less than humane.
        So there we have it. Bones and Brains are becoming scarce.
Animals have brains, but they are small. Too small to help them realise that their big bones are the problem. (We can not eat big bones)
In this, fish and small birds have the advantage, but bigger boned animals, (often human bred), are causing their own loss.
 Yes! In consuming so much food in a brave attempt to grow and stengthen their bulky frames they have caused their own demise.
    As a reult of this disturbing reseach, Mentor Monkey and My good self, at no expense to you, have enbarked on a program to produce cow and sheep fillets. These animals will not only eat less, but take up less pasture land. Brain is edible, so no attempt will be made at present to breed this out of these species. This would be less than humane.
           We are being helped in this valuable conservation work by programs such as the program to reintroduce the Kihansi spray toad, Nectophrynoides asperginis, back into the wild in Tanzania.
 These rare and endangered double decker frogs have been hunted to near extinction by uncaring and lazy farmers.  After being eaten, very few amphibians have yet shown signs of recovery.
     Undoubtably, the temptation to catch half the frogs for twice the amount of meat is great, but international efforts are escalating to re educate these lazy farmers, and to wean them onto cow and lamb fillets.
"We have to scale-up our efforts to match the unprecedented threats faced by the natural world," said Jonathan Baillie, Director of Conservation Programmes at the Zoological Society of London", and we couldn't agree more.
          History has shown us that conservation can achieve the impossible, as anyone who knows the story of the white rhinoceros in southern Africa knows. These large boned animals were eating excessive amounts  of food in a futile attempt to grow and strengthen their bony parts. At our suggestion, the white rhinos were cross bread with boa constrictors, resulting in a longer and more colorful, but less self destructive animal.
    In another somewhat disturbing late news report, IUCN officials said,  "Conservation efforts have been particularly successful at combatting invasive alien species on islands"
Can this be true? Our greed and tolerance for boney animals has led to Alien Invasion.
Please help us in our fight to produce environmentally friendly deboned species before it is too late. 
 I remain your true and untiring servant:
                         FACTUAL KERRY.

Monday, November 1, 2010

I am going to the beach

Today I plan to go to the beach.
I like beaches, but not the sand and water so much,
Still looking for one with Astroturf and a giant sponge.
Last time I went, to photograph rocks n stuff, I accidently stepped in a rockpool and was eaten by a crab.
(no… that’s not true… my foot was threatened by a crab.)
At least at the beach you don’t get infected  by human parasites.
!!WARNING!! Science information.
A parasite is a special place where government land is set aside for people who like to jump off the cliffs with a parachute. For the braver souls (I have only ever met one, but there are hundreds),
The parachute is held between the teeth, and the rip chord is pulled as they hit the ground.
It’s hard to believe people would do that, but I saw one actually doing it.
For those unacquainted with para talk, the rip chord is so called because it‘s R I P if you forget to pull it in time.
I read somewhere.
“It is estimated that about 50% of the U.S. population is infected with at least one type of parasite.”
           They must be small because I have checked myself in the mirror, and can’t see any.Thank heavens I don’t live in America.
(If you meet me, remember no kissing.)

Just a free hint for the brave among you: don’t try to enonomise on the para by using a string shopping bag like I did the first time.
Air molecules are apparently smaller than the holes in string shopping bags and you may decend a little faster than you like.
You maybe don’t care about my beach adventure, but you will be thankful for the science content you have gleaned today

I am still your little friend with scientific and relationship advise on the net…
                                                FACTUAL KERRY
                                                        (thank me later)

MONKEY

MONKEY
MY HERO