MEDICAL MARVELS.

For those who have a scientific bent 

(OR IS THAT A BENT SCIENTIFIC?)

     As a being who loves scientific breakthroughs, I feel obliged to pass on interesting and invaluable portions from my vast knowledgable resources for your up-liftingment.

     My hero, monkey, works in medical research and development and has perfected abdominal surgery practices.       He found that by getting patients to swallow two magnets prior to surgery, he could put them under, and by means of keyhole surgery glue one magnet on either side of the proposed scalpel cut.

    When ready to open the abdomen, he simply reverses the magnets polarity, and they tear a straight line between them making a neat entry for the proposed surgical procedure. (and Yes; they ARE strong enough)

    

     At closing time, the magnets are realigned and spring together, thus making ugly out of date stitches obsolete.

The patient is discharged sooner, and the magnets are left until such time as they dissolve (Usually 3 or 4 weeks after the scar has healed)

  AS A BONUS, PATIENTS ARE ABLE TO LAUGH IMMEDIATELY ON WAKING....

                         At your service as always....
                                                             FACTUAL KERRY.

I HAVE A FOLLOWER...

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lea and I are going to walk in circles and follow each other till we all get sandwiches with those edible confetti things all over
They have a name, but maybe you can think of it
you can have them on icecream too, but you non followers dont get to have ANY!!!!
ha ha ha
Yes, i am serious

warning from Factual Kerry

i failed to mention in my windowcleaner tuition (f)

do not under any circumstances lose concentration and spead sardines on your cat.
this is how people get those horrible hairless cats...
(you know who you are.)
NO ONE believes that special breed stuff
 
 My second best friend, Peg, makes the mistake of her life...

No I can't run over! get off my phone and call emergency services!!!

f

How to lose weight quickly.

The person who knows everything has another secret for you.

Here, you combine your iphone pics with your willpower to be the envy of all.

STEP 1. Go to the cake shop and photograph seven of the most delisious cakes you can find.
STEP 2. As a food replacement plan, lick one photo a day as many times as you want.
STEP 3. Run to the mirror you previously avoided and watch the pounds fleeing in terror.
STEP 4. Run to the bank, and see how your savings have grown.

Monkey and factual kerry have strictly followed this plan for three years and are loving it.
(FOR PARTIES WITH YOUR NEW THIN FRIENDS, JUST TAKE MORE PHOTOS...THE BIGGER THE BETTER)

See, it works.
yours weightlessly:
FACTUALKERRY